I sometimes tell people that myself.
Growing up in a family of 11 children
Considering that fact, my birthday is one of the biggest.
For two reasons that is.
One, I join birthday parties with my older brother.
Two, I know a lot of people and if you invite one,
you kind of have to invite them all.
This network is endless.
A loop that goes round and round.
Always a house full of both family members,
friends and even strangers.
Strangers?
Yes, strangers.
Like I've mentioned above, I join birthdays with my older brother.
He's way older than me.
A good 5-7 years apart I would say.
Can't remember the exact years apart but between there.
So at those moment in my life I used to think to myself
"I really want a more personal birthday party.
I don't know half these people and they don't even say
happy birthday to me. Who invited them anyways?
I rather go eat out at a fancy restaurant."
I always felt like my brothers don't know them either.
But he was probably too drunk to even care.
He had fun and that's all that mattered,
but for me I couldn't drink since I wasn't 21 for those past 21 birthdays.
My mom wouldn't let me stay up late either.
I couldn't join the dance floor because my brothers would
look at me like "don't dance with strangers".
Isn't it weird?
I feel so weird at my own birthday parties.
Luckily for me, the first couple of hours was always fun.
It starts getting weird when all the people I know starts to leave.
Hence, we were considered young then.
It was weird for us all to be surrounded by older people,
if what I'm saying is even making sense.
I always end up cleaning the next morning because boys don't clean.
I never get why my birthday parties have to always be so big?
Fast forward to present time, today.
A wife, a mother, a daughter in law, an aunt, etc
No longer living in the town I grew up in.
No friends.
Now, if I wanted to celebrate or throw a party
I have to do more then "clean the house afterward".
I have to do my own decorations, cook for my guest,
buy myself a cake and even clean afterward.
buy myself a cake and even clean afterward.
Did I mention that I am a mother?
It means that most girls I know are also mothers.
We all don't have babysitters or the luxury to chill.
Gosh, I sure took my childhood for granted.
My wish of a more personal birthday
when I was younger is pretty silly.
No one remembers birthday dates anymore
because Facebook sends a notification.
Back then, people actually remembers your birthday.
You personally ask them to come join you.
Now a day, it's all a click away from the internet.
How is that considered "personal"?
I feel more alone and lonely now.
But I can truly say that I am more alone and lonely now.
Back then I had my boyfriend, now husband
but everyone else is gone.
I miss my mom's cooking.
I miss just cleaning up afterward when everyone has left
but I'm left with tons of presents to open.
Presents now a day? Haha maybe in my dreams or rarely.
Did I mention my in laws?
I wonder how my in laws feel.
Their daughter-in-law is throwing herself a birthday party.
As a Nyab and a wife, things aren't the same anymore.
You don't have your mom there to throw you a birthday party.
