Extreme Pain

Didn't realized it was possible but
if you're a toddler you can
get a bad nose bleed when feeling
extreme pain.

Chialia had a nose bleed yesterday.
I wasn't there when it initially happened.
I figured she picked her nose or hurt it
but today it bleed again.

-Back to yesterday-
I remember she was looking for me
and I thought it was funny to hide from her.
She couldn't find me in the room so
she went back crying to the living room.

Then I heard my father in law yelling at her
to come to me. That's when I went out to check on her
and saw that her nose was bleeding.
Blood was all over her pj.
Blood on her blanket.
Blood on the door knot because she thought
I went outside and tried to open the door to go out.
Blood on the floor and carpet.
It was a bloody mess!

-Back to today-
The reason I concluded that she was in extreme pain
which caused her nose to bleed was because
today she told me she wanted milk.
I told her that I'll give her cereal instead
(hence she gets her milk plus cereal which is a plus for her).
Previously, she had made a mess with her shoes.
I told her to pick up her shoes before I give her cereal.
She refused to picked up her shoes.
I took her Iphone away and told her that if she
didn't pick up her shoes, she was not allowed
to have cereal and her phone.

She cried and threw a fit.
I ignored her thinking she would calm down
and pick up her shoes but nope.
She came to me with a bleeding nose. smh.

By then, blood had gotten on our gray fur carpet.
Blood on her pj.
Bloody hands and mouth.

I guess I can't really let her cry anymore
if she keeps getting a bleeding nose over
being extremely mad/sad.

In the past, I've let her cry it out to the point
where she calms down by herself and
realized she wasn't going to get her way.
If her nose bleed continues when she cries or
throws a fit it really means I have to cater to her smh.

At the end of the day, I know it's my fault.
I will try to be more patient with her.
I will try to be better. Teach her to control her temper
and to pick up after herself right after she makes a mess.

First time for everything

There are always a first time for everything.
Sometimes when you think that you've done it all
it comes right at you in ways you never expected.

However, this I knew I had never done before
and to be honest with you I was a little nervous.

On May 26, 2018 I killed my first chicken!

This is certainly something to be celebrated.
I am officially the second daughter in my family
to have killed a chicken (to eat, not abuse.)

I think I'll be okay now. I used to worry about
killing chickens for myself during my 30 day diet.
However, I have confident in myself and know
that I will truly be okay without my mom.

I'll always be thankful to my in laws for their
help. But life as a wife has taught me that
only I can truly help myself because
people won't always be there for me.